I have been reading these posts with a growing sense that the end of the world is near. Although I have not read every post, I think my story may far exceed all these in horror. Forgive the length of this post but this story is true and must be told for the sake of mankind.
It began two months ago when I saw a potato bug for the first time. I was gardening in the planter on our patio. When I saw him I stumbled back in fear. But my curiosity got the best of me and I came forward and stared into his beady eyes. He must have slapped some kind of mind control mojo on me cause my next thought was, “aw poor little fella, he’s kinda cute in an ugly sort of way.” My boyfriend identified him as a potato bug and I subsequent set him free in the backyard. A big mistake because in retrospect I realize that he must have extracted the layout of our house during our mind meld.
All was quiet until five days ago. One of our cats began an inexplicable stake out of the bathroom cabinet. Curious I went into the bathroom and looked around. That’s when I heard it. The sound of claws scratching from beneath the cabinet. It sounded like something big, VERY BIG. Terrified, I called my boyfriend at work. “Honey we have a rat and it’s trying to claw it’s way from beneath the house!” Oh, fool that I was. After a while the clawing stopped. We looked but there was no sign of rats.
Two days later my boyfriend heard scratching in the office behind the desk. He removed a cardboard storage box to find a PB which had become stuck and was trying to eat it’s way through the box to freedom. He threw it outside. The very next day I found another PB just outside the office. The day after that (yesterday) my other cat began a stakeout of the fireplace. I shined a flashlight into the ashes and spotted yet another monster burrowing into the ashes and appearing to hump the stone fireplace. We were afraid to start a fire since we knew that would only increase his power. After awhile he suffocated in the ash. That same night by boyfriend found yet another much smaller fiend in the office. The youthful PB was turning somersaults on the floor. My boyfriend used a paper towel to pick him up and toss him out into the carport; foolish man. After vigorously humping the paper towel the PB hurled himself down the steps and scuttled right back in under the door where he began to hump the tile floor. We threw him out again and stuffed towels under the door.
This morning the invasion continued. We found another full sized menace in the bedroom next to the TV cabinet humping our nice burber carpet. The cats are too freaked to kill it. I have no idea what horrors the weekend will bring.
At this point I must tell you that my research into these devils revealed that one of their natural enemies is the Stink Bug. I mentioned this to my boyfriend and he told me that he has found two in the last three day in the house. One in the bathroom and one in the living room near the fireplace. He described this new creature to me as a big black beetle with a pointy butt that he aims at his foes and then gases them. I knew at once that I had disposed of this same intruder when I discovered him in the office.
We began to realize that our home has become the frontlines of a full scale insect turf war! The only problem is I don’t know who to root for. I mean the PB’s are evil but if they lose then we are at the mercy of the Stink Bugs. But from what we’ve seen the PB’s outnumber them 2 to 1, do they even stand a chance? What do I do? And why are the PBs humping parts of the house? Is it some kind of military tactic?
In any case this story is not over by a long shot. I will keep you all abreast of the situation. In the mean time let me know if you have any suggestions. We have not ruled dousing the house with gasoline and setting it on fire.